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Being sober, I now know when I need self-care instead of running myself into the ground. I’m just now starting to feel normal again." "I was in a really dark place for months. “My sponsor was worried about me," Gamble admits.
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Gamble gave everything he had for that role, somewhat compromising his recovery by portraying a mentally ill, abusive, alcoholic serial killer (yes, we are still talking about porn, here!). Gamble delivered arguably one of the best porn and acting performances of 2019 in Bree Mills’s Perspective, a performance that earned him Best Male Actor at the 2020 AVN Awards and XBIZ Awards. Sobriety has been very humbling,” he says.
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“Now that I’m sober, my performances are a lot more connected because I’m present. Seth is now thriving in sobriety due to a recent increase in sex-positive mental health resources paired with the growing acceptance of recovery-based conversations in the adult entertainment community.
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When he was getting sober, the porn industry changed quite a bit, too. In rehab, after that rock-bottom moment, Gamble began a path to recovery that finally stuck. These obstacles paired with the daily struggles of being a human can create a lot of added stress to daily life. It’s also a struggle to find primary care physicians and mental health professionals who won’t judge someone who works in the industry. Cyber and IRL stalking, estrangement from loved ones, and going through drastic measures to maintain an erection are just a few. Porn performers often face unique problems because of their line of work. The lifestyle of an adult film star made it all too easy for Gamble to hit that rock bottom moment. Then when I was by myself, I had a ‘less than’ issue." "On set I developed a ‘better than’ issue. “I was disassociated, doing so much blow that narcissism would appear because of how the drug reacts to the brain," he says. He always showed up, but he was often late or feeling moody. He finished out a contract with them before moving to Los Angeles to further his career, taking on roles as a jock-meets-boy-next-door type.īut because of his addiction, he gained a reputation for being difficult to work with on set. He was always a sexual person, so when he had the chance to film for BangBros, he jumped at the opportunity. He got into the porn industry when he was 18 and living in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. “My parents didn't know what was wrong with me," he says. He partied, got arrested, and eventually had to attend a court-ordered support group at age 14, accompanied by his dad. Gamble began acting out in his early teen years. The next shelf holds an assortment of self-help books that he often quotes as affirmations. On top of that are his recovery books and other 12 step literature. Just above are his gratitude journals and Marvel comics. The lowest two shelves house his AVN and XBIZ awards (think: the Oscars and Golden Globes of porn). On the wall above is a sign that says "One Day at a Time." Inside his apartment is a narrow, white, ladder-style bookshelf that unintentionally serves a dual purpose of being a metaphor for climbing to where he is today. On a Saturday afternoon in Santa Monica, Seth reclines on his cozy grey couch. Working in a controversial industry that had a reputation for not always supporting performers’ physical and mental health, it was hard to stick to a solid recovery plan. These days, Gamble, 32, is still attending the AVNs annually-except now he’s one of the biggest names in porn.and he’s sober. I called my friend and fellow performer, Mark Davis, and just cried and cried.” “I got so bad that someone had to bathe me in a cold bath because I was so overheated. Meanwhile, I was going to these sidebars taking shots and had a little bag of blow,” Gamble says. "People were telling me I looked good because they thought I had cleaned up. He recalls relapsing with alcohol and cocaine at age 28, while he was in Las Vegas for the Adult Video News Awards. But his internal battles with substance abuse told a different story. He smiled for photos on the red carpet, rubbed elbows with big names, and made a living doing what he loved: having sex on camera. Seth Gamble’s star was on the rise in the porn industry for years.